Question
What would you say if you could go back a year and speak to yourself?
...
Don't work so much or so hard for an employer who doesn't offer you anything but money. There's plenty of money in the world, but you only have so much time and energy.
Take Margaret's suggestion to volunteer for Big Brothers Big Sisters.
Shop more at New Sagaya and less at Carrs. They're local, they're great, and they're better for your body and soul. And you drive by it twice a day anyway, so why not?
Having interests is great, but stop using orchids and guitars as a way to escape from your life.
Quit worrying about what other people will think of your songs. Write more of them. Perform them when you get a chance.
Smile more.
Get out of the house. Don't be afraid to try new things. Ask Gretchen what she'd like to do on the weekend, make plans, and follow through with them. Driving up and down Northern Lights at 10:30 doesn't count as a fun evening.
Don't be afraid of what people think of you. Don't be afraid to show them who you are and who you might like to become. Your bitterness and seclusion aren't winning you any supporters. You've always wanted to be able to wear your heart on your sleeve; you are able to. Just do it.
You don't have the tools or time to help Liz fix her truck. Ask Tim for the name of a good shop and refer her to it.
Don't tear up your own vehicle because you're frustrated. You can afford to pay someone to fix it to make sure it's done right and to make sure you don't go crazy.
When you get upset, back off. You're anger isn't so important that you have to take it out on everyone around you. Your anger, in and of itself, isn't important at all.
Stop racking up debt on your credit cards. Get your money under control so you're not a slave to it.
Ask Gretchen and Billijo and Moriah and Grace if they'd all like to go out together sometime. It would be nice for everyone to meet each other over dinner and drinks at Orso or Humpy's or Moose's Tooth or Red Robin.
A guy named Scott is about to come into your life. He's your replacement, but there's nothing to be afraid of in that; everyone but you knows you're leaving soon. He's a great guy, so get to know him.
Don't get tangled up in Gina's games.
Don't be angry with Gretchen's family because you don't understand each other. They're people, just like you. Get to know them. Enjoy the time you can spend together. Respect that their lives are different than yours.
Thank Gretchen's family for helping you so much. And again. And again. And again.
Gretchen isn't the reason you're unhappy. She's trying to help you, if you'd just let her. Hug her more often. Stop using sex as a distraction when you're insecure; let it be wonderful and spontaneous and joyful and fun.
Don't put your faith in one form of birth control. Talk with Gretchen about parenthood.
Tell Gretchen the things you're afraid to say. Admit how much you love her and how lost you'd feel without her friendship, company, and love. Tell her how much you want to marry her, even though you're afraid of the idea. Let her know now, because there might not be a chance tomorrow.
If your heart is hurting, tell her, but don't control her with that. Don't control her at all. Be there to support her as she lives her life.
Enjoy your simple quiet moments together. Make dinner for her once in a while, you slouch!
Think about the sorts of experiences you'd like to have in your life, and talk with Gretchen about them. Ask her what she'd like to do. Work together to make your goals reality.
Think some more about moving to New Mexico together and buying an orchard. There's nothing to stop you.
Forgive yourself for having fucked things up in the past. Give yourself permission to fuck up in the future, but don't come to expect that of yourself.
Be strong. Be honest. Be open. Be proud.
...
Don't work so much or so hard for an employer who doesn't offer you anything but money. There's plenty of money in the world, but you only have so much time and energy.
Take Margaret's suggestion to volunteer for Big Brothers Big Sisters.
Shop more at New Sagaya and less at Carrs. They're local, they're great, and they're better for your body and soul. And you drive by it twice a day anyway, so why not?
Having interests is great, but stop using orchids and guitars as a way to escape from your life.
Quit worrying about what other people will think of your songs. Write more of them. Perform them when you get a chance.
Smile more.
Get out of the house. Don't be afraid to try new things. Ask Gretchen what she'd like to do on the weekend, make plans, and follow through with them. Driving up and down Northern Lights at 10:30 doesn't count as a fun evening.
Don't be afraid of what people think of you. Don't be afraid to show them who you are and who you might like to become. Your bitterness and seclusion aren't winning you any supporters. You've always wanted to be able to wear your heart on your sleeve; you are able to. Just do it.
You don't have the tools or time to help Liz fix her truck. Ask Tim for the name of a good shop and refer her to it.
Don't tear up your own vehicle because you're frustrated. You can afford to pay someone to fix it to make sure it's done right and to make sure you don't go crazy.
When you get upset, back off. You're anger isn't so important that you have to take it out on everyone around you. Your anger, in and of itself, isn't important at all.
Stop racking up debt on your credit cards. Get your money under control so you're not a slave to it.
Ask Gretchen and Billijo and Moriah and Grace if they'd all like to go out together sometime. It would be nice for everyone to meet each other over dinner and drinks at Orso or Humpy's or Moose's Tooth or Red Robin.
A guy named Scott is about to come into your life. He's your replacement, but there's nothing to be afraid of in that; everyone but you knows you're leaving soon. He's a great guy, so get to know him.
Don't get tangled up in Gina's games.
Don't be angry with Gretchen's family because you don't understand each other. They're people, just like you. Get to know them. Enjoy the time you can spend together. Respect that their lives are different than yours.
Thank Gretchen's family for helping you so much. And again. And again. And again.
Gretchen isn't the reason you're unhappy. She's trying to help you, if you'd just let her. Hug her more often. Stop using sex as a distraction when you're insecure; let it be wonderful and spontaneous and joyful and fun.
Don't put your faith in one form of birth control. Talk with Gretchen about parenthood.
Tell Gretchen the things you're afraid to say. Admit how much you love her and how lost you'd feel without her friendship, company, and love. Tell her how much you want to marry her, even though you're afraid of the idea. Let her know now, because there might not be a chance tomorrow.
If your heart is hurting, tell her, but don't control her with that. Don't control her at all. Be there to support her as she lives her life.
Enjoy your simple quiet moments together. Make dinner for her once in a while, you slouch!
Think about the sorts of experiences you'd like to have in your life, and talk with Gretchen about them. Ask her what she'd like to do. Work together to make your goals reality.
Think some more about moving to New Mexico together and buying an orchard. There's nothing to stop you.
Forgive yourself for having fucked things up in the past. Give yourself permission to fuck up in the future, but don't come to expect that of yourself.
Be strong. Be honest. Be open. Be proud.
posted by Fourbank at 11:39 AM
2 Comments:
An excellent list. Very life affirming. I'm going to borrow a few, especially the ones about playing songs and not worrying about what other people think.
I am finally out of debt and have no credit cards. If I can do it, you can do it.
That is a good list. It is good to sit down and decide what is important every now and again.
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