Redirecting

I'm tired again.

Mostly I figure it's because I've been getting up 3 hours earlier than normal for this new job downtown. I'm sure it's also got a lot to do with staring at various computer screens all day long. (And what do I do when I get home again? Stare at computer screens some more. sigh.)

It's a good job. I'm working with a local educational nonprofit who're doing a bunch of research into what Oregonians think about the public school system, and what kind of ideas they have for making it better. It's a good idea, despite the amazing lack of focus.

I'm working 40+ hours per week at a (very) modest salary, but I'm making myself invaluable in a very small office that's doing a lot of very big things. If I play the right cards at the right moments, I might just stand a chance of signing on with them for real. They're grant-funded, so who knows how long it would last if I got hired, but it would at least be some experience, which is what I really need to finally break into the Portland nonprofit world at a professional level.

I made a bunch of split pea soup tonight. With yellow peas -- it looks a little odd. There was so much soup that I had to split it between the two biggest pots so it wouldn't boil all over the stovetop. I guess I know what I'm eating for the next few days weeks.

I'm having sushi dinner with R and E tomorrow night, which will be fun, except I have to find some pickled ginger to take over. I saw some at Albertsons tonight, but it was laced with FD&C 40, which I didn't take to be a good sign. Maybe New Seasons will save me.

Contrary to usual sensibilities, I really want a cup of craptastic instant mocha stuff. I just don't want to be up half the night.

...and sometimes, when there's a lot on my mind, I type about things that make no difference just to avoid addressing the real issues.

So I always wonder. Is it the decisions you make when you are up that are the ones you should stick with, or the ones you make when you are down?
--M