Worry

Late at night when the rest of the world is asleep and I feel alone, my mind runs wild over a landscape of doubt and worry...

Is this the multiverse's way of keeping G and I together? Why couldn't it have been a little more subtle?

What's to become of our plans for the future? Will either of us ever get our futures back?

What's to become of ourselves? Will either of us ever truly be able to exist just for ourselves ever again?

This was supposed to be the time when we would go out and explore the world and ourselves, not settle down and become parents. This was meant to be the end of us and the beginning of me, not the other way around.

I had no intention of becoming a parent yet, but does that mean I can't be a good one? Does that mean I can't want to?

How could I leave G behind to handle this on her own? She's my best friend and so much more.

Why do I feel like my options are narrowing and narrowing and narrowing?

I want to make this work, but what if I can't? What if I mess things up again? What if it's just not in me to become this? What if I find out that I can't care for this child?

I can barely take care of myself; how can I hope to help two people who'll be looking to me for so much? What if I find out that I don't want to?

Could I live with myself if I walked away from this? Could I live with myself if I didn't?